


The hope of it all

by malakian



Series: Folklore [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Album: folklore (Taylor Swift), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Blow Jobs, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28458123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malakian/pseuds/malakian
Summary: So much for summer love, and saying “us”, ‘cause you weren’t mine to lose.-Based on the song “august” by Taylor Swift (from the album “folklore”).
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore & Severus Snape, Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Series: Folklore [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050995
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	The hope of it all

Lupin got dressed and washed his face once more, staring at his face in the mirror. He could feel his stomach bubbling in anticipation; his head kept coming back to that early morning in the kitchen only three days ago. He hadn't felt like this in years. After a deep breath he left his room.

The kitchen was crowded and suffocating as usual, the fireplace making it impossible to remember there was snow outside. He ran his eyes through the room and felt his insides turn unpleasantly as he realized Severus was not there yet, and their usual seats across each other were taken. He sat near Tonks, trying to be nice by showing interest in her conversation but his mind promptly drifted away. 

“Good evening,” he heard Dumbledore say, entering the room, Severus right behind him. Lupin could not suppress a small smile, even though the other man did not look in his direction. He waited patiently for the meeting to end and it felt like the longest in history of humankind. When it was over, Lupin got to his feet and rapidly excused himself off the kitchen, going straight to the streets. He leaned on the shadow of the neighbor's house and waited until he saw Severus walking out of the door.

"Severus," he called, and the other man automatically reached for his wand while turning back, then he saw Lupin and put it back inside his sleeve; his face unwinded a bit. 

“Why are you lurking in the shadows?"

"I was waiting for you," he said simply. 

Severus looked around to check if they were alone. He walked two steps toward Lupin and, as he passed a streetlight, it was visible how blushed he was.

“What for?"

“I think we should talk about what happened, don't you?” he asked, looking at Severus and trying to resist the urge to push him against the wall to feel his body again. 

“I don't, Lupin. We could actually pretend it never happened—”

Lupin frowned. “Why Severus, I don't want to pretend it never happened. As a matter of fact I would like to do it again.”

Severus stared at him and Lupin saw his eyes dart to his mouth, “You want to kiss me again?”

Lupin smiled. “Very much so.” He blushed and risked, “And other things too, if you're up to.”

He stared at Severus’s lips and felt something burn inside him when the other man took another step towards him — then the door opened, and Dumbledore left the house; seeing Severus, but not Lupin, he walked towards him, stopping when he realised Snape was not alone. 

He smiled softly at them, his eyes twinkling as he looked from one man to the other. “Severus, Remus. I hope I'm not interrupting,” then he turned to Snape. “Are you coming now?”

“Yes, Headmaster,” he said, backing away from Lupin as if they were talking about the weather. “I'll send you word on that matter, Lupin.”

Remus nodded and watched as the other two disapparated in front of him. He let out a deep breath. In a second Severus was out of reach again.

But he did not have to wait long to hear from Snape again. The next morning he woke up to a barn owl on his windowsill. Opening the window, he saw a note attached to the owl’s foot.

_Meet me behind the mall on Bernard Street, Blomsbury. Tonight, 10 PM._

_S._

* * *

The place was dark and deserted when he arrived. His stomach dropped when he checked his clock and saw he was early; walking aimlessly around the block, he warmed up his hands with heating charms and tried to ignore the million thoughts rushing through his head until he saw a bright red spot near the trees. After a few steps he distinguished Snape’s figure: he was, as usual, dressed in black, but not his regular robes: he wore tweedy trousers and a woolen turtleneck sweater, covered by an overcoat and a thick scarf wrapped around his neck. Lupin felt self conscious about his clothes, even though he had spent quite some time trying out different combinations. 

“I didn't know you were a smoker,” he said when he got closer to Severus, who looked back at him.

“I'm not a regular anymore,” he gave a puff and exhaled lazily. "There's a pub right across the square.”

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Sounds good."

They walked through the green square in silence, Severus still smoking, Lupin with his hands tucked inside his pockets thinking about how to hold up a conversation between them.

The pub was empty; people did not seem too inclined to go out in that weather. They grabbed a table on the corner, half hidden by a large Christmas tree, and Severus immediately ordered a shot of tequila, which he drank at once, and ordered a second one.

“What do you drink?” he asked without glancing at Lupin.

“Ah — red wine is fine.”

They sat and an awkward silence took over the table.

Lupin browsed through subjects inside his head as he saw Snape downing his second shot of tequila. He opened his mouth to say something — anything, really — but the other talked first.

“Do you mind if I light another one here?” he said, showing the cigarette between his fingers.

“No, not at all,” Lupin replied and watched, entranced, as Severus lit it, his long fingers guiding the cigarette to his mouth. Remus realized too late that he was trailing his own lips with his tongue. He took a deep breath and forced himself to look back at Snape’s eyes. “I don't remember tasting tobacco in your mouth that day,” he risked, blushing a bit.

Severus glanced at him. “Like I said, I'm not a regular anymore.”

“And which events make you crave a cigarette?” Lupin asked, taking his glass of wine to his mouth. 

“When I'm anxious,” he said, giving another puff. “Or stressed.”

Lupin smiled. “Which of them are you tonight?” Remus asked, sipping.

“Neither,” he took another puff. “Tonight I'm lustful.”

Lupin choked on his wine. He skimmed Severus’s face and found there, in the corner of his mouth, an air of laughter. He smiled back.

“Okay, that was a low blow. I don't know how to respond to that other than blushing like a bloody teenager,” he sipped once more and returned the glass to the table. “Dumbledore was a bit of a cock-block last night.”

Severus snorted. “As usual.” He took Lupin's glass and drank from it looking into his eyes, then rested the glass on the table and licked his lips. “He's not here tonight.”

“Thank Merlin,” Lupin replied, feeling his whole body prickling. He gently reached for Severus’s hand and brushed his fingers, expecting for the other man to retract his hands, but he didn't. Their eyes were locked for a few moments; Lupin saw a different gleam in Severus' eyes, and he had to control himself not to jump over the table and kiss him right there.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Severus finally asked.

“Yes, please,” he answered, and before he could think he was on his feet; Severus raised his eyebrows, a mocking smile on his lips, and Lupin blushed.

“Alright then,” Severus said, downing the rest of Lupin's wine and getting up. “Let’s go.”

They left the pub and Severus walked decidedly, Lupin following him. He turned and entered a deserted alley; when they were halfway through it, Severus stopped and produced his wand. Lupin looked around.

“Are we apparating somewhere?”

“No," Severus said. 

Lupin's jaw dropped. "What — here?"

"We’re safe here.” He waved his wand once, “No one can see us,” then a second time, “No one can hear us,” and one last wave, “We won’t freeze to death.”

Lupin looked around, still uncertain. “But —”

“Would you prefer going to Hogwarts?" Severus scowled. “Or maybe Black's house?" 

Lupin exhaled. "Merlin, no.”

He looked at Severus and saw again that gleaming in his eyes. _Fuck it,_ he thought.

“Well, come here, then,” he reached for Severus and grabbed the collar of his overcoat, pulling him in for a kiss. 

It started weird. Lupin's hands were shaking and his breath was uneven; his lips were dry and he thanked heavens when Severus pulled away from him because it gave him time to wet his lips.

“Are you shaking?” Severus asked, looking up and frowning at him. “Maybe I should reinforce the heating spell?”

“No, it’s not — I’m not cold, just anxious,” he raised his hand and touched Severus’s face. “You make me nervous,” he laughed awkwardly. 

“Where's the Remus Lupin who pushed me against the kitchen counter and almost fucked me there?” Severus mocked, pushing his body closer to Lupin.

Lupin laughed. "Merlin, I don't know. I think I must have left him at home.”

He felt Severus’s hand slide under his sweatshirt and he shivered, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly. Severus’s mouth went to his neck and he pulled Snape closer, longing for his body and his smell. Lupin leaned down and searched for his mouth again and now they had the perfect fit: their lips touched, roughly; then parted and their tongues met eagerly. Lupin pulled Severus even closer, and there it was again, just like that morning in the kitchen: their cocks pressed together, both of them warm and hard. He let out a moan inside their kiss and Severus apparently knew what he was moaning for, because he slid his hand to Lupin's bulge and squeezed it. Remus gasped and Severus leaned away a little, looking up at him without taking off his hand. 

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

Lupin's eyes darted open. “Merlin, yes — yes, I'm sure,” he slid a hand under Severus' sweatshirt and touched his bare skin, warm despite the freezing weather around them. “Don’t stop.”

Severus nodded, took off his overcoat and resumed the kiss; his hands were now opening Lupin's belt and unzipping his trousers and then one of them was touching him, firmly stroking his shaft.

“Fuck,” Remus moaned, unable to do anything other than breathing and touching the other’s skin. Severus’s mouth was back at Lupin's neck, kissing and sucking as he gripped Lupin's erection and stroked him. Lupin’s mind was racing — he wanted to reciprocate the pleasure he was experiencing and he reached for Severus’s trousers to unbutton them but before he could touch it Severus had dropped to his knees.

“Severus—” he started but was interrupted by a wave of pleasure when Severus, having lowered Lupin’s trousers a bit, covered his hard-on with his mouth. “Oh fuck — fuck — _yes_ —”

Lupin felt Snape’s tongue travel casually to the base of his penis. He wrapped his fingers around Severus’s hair and couldn't help thrusting against his mouth. Snape pushed his hips back, forcing him to stop thrusting, but continued sucking him, now harder and faster. 

“Fuck you, Snape,” he complained, only half serious. 

Severus took his cock out of his mouth and, still stroking him, said, “You can do that yourself in a few minutes’ time.”

Lupin snorted and concentrated on the hot, wet mouth wrapped around his hardness. Then he felt Severus’s hand making its way to his entrance. 

“Holy fuck —” he managed to say before Severus got one and then two fingers inside him, shoving them in the same rhythm he was sucking his cock. Remus had around 30 seconds of pleasure before Severus suddenly took both his fingers out of him and let go of Lupin's shaft, leaving him bewildered for a moment; Severus was now back on his feet, pulling Remus’s face down to kiss him feverishly. Then he turned Lupin around, pushing his face against the wall.

Lupin closed his eyes as Severus kissed the back of his neck. He felt Snape’s hand travel down his body, brush his hard-on and go to his back, and with a loud moan he welcomed two fingers back inside him.

“Do you like this?” Severus whispered in Lupin’s ear, thrusting his fingers.

“Oh — don't stop —” he moaned. 

“This is not what I asked, Lupin,” he thrust harder. “I asked, do you _like_ this?”

“I — love — it,” he managed to answer between the thrusts and the moaning.

“Do you want to feel my cock inside you?” he thrust again.

“Yes — fuck, yes —”

“Do you want me to fuck you?" another thrust.

“Yes, please — fuck me, Severus, please—”

He pulled out his hand suddenly and Lupin felt weirdly empty, longing to be filled up again.

“Give me your hand,” he heard Severus whisper in his ear. He felt his hand being guided to Snape’s penis and couldn't restrain a moan when he finally touched it. He stroked it slowly while Severus moaned, biting his earlobe.

"Put me inside you", he whispered.

Lupin spread his legs and put Severus’s cock in his entrance, moaning loudly when it started to go inside him. With the other hand Lupin reached for his own hardness, now harder than ever with Severus not only more and more inside him but also groaning in his ear.

Gradually Severus pushed his cock all inside Lupin. They stood still for a few moments, Snape’s hands wrapped around Lupin’s body, his head resting on his shoulder, both breathing fast. Calmly Severus lifted his head and whispered in Remus’s ear, “I'm going to fuck you now.”

He started to push in and out of Lupin slowly, both moaning quietly — then Severus pushed him against the wall and started to thrust faster and harder in a crescendo, his hands holding Lupin’s hips and soundly pounding against him, the noise of skin against skin only muffled by their moaning: Severus open and loud, Lupin through gritted teeth and mixed with pleads of “Yes” and “Harder”. Lupin’s mind was clouded and he couldn’t think; his ears were buzzing and he felt that he could very well die at that moment; the only thing that mattered was their bodies together, Severus’s moaning in his ear and fucking him roughly against the brick wall of an alley. Remus felt Severus’s hand reach for his hard-on, gripping it tight and stroking it, then with an electric jolt and a loud “Fuck!” he felt Snape coming, filling him up. They rested against the wall, Severus inside him, Lupin still hard and moaning. Severus stepped back and nonchalantly took his dripping cock off Remus, who instantly reached for Severus’s penis and kneeled to suck him dry, tasting his cum for the first time. He got back to his feet and pulled Snape for a kiss, then grabbing the front of his clothes he turned and pushed him against the wall, licking and biting his neck fiercely, moaning as Severus reached for his shaft and started stroking it. Lupin pulled away from the kiss and looked hungrily into Severus’s eyes.

“Very well,” he breathed, licking his lips. “Now it’s my turn.”

* * *

Snape sat on top of Lupin, both of them flushed; a malicious smile was dancing on Severus’s face as he sat there, only half-naked, and looked Lupin in the eyes. Lupin was already shirtless, wearing only his pants; he had both hands on Severus’s thighs, the other man still painfully dressed waist-down. Severus leaned, kissing Lupin while slowly moving his hips, brushing his body against Lupin’s, who suddenly broke the kiss.

“Have you put ‘driving Remus Lupin mad’ on your to-do list this week?”

“I might have,” Severus answered and Lupin felt him smile against his lips.

He still hadn't gotten used to this, even though they had been meeting almost every day for the past weeks. He couldn't avoid a surprised look every time Severus kissed him or climbed on top of him or eyed him like this or just smiled — genuinely smiled, in a way he had never seen (or imagined) before. He still felt a lurch on his stomach every time he witnessed any of these events because he had been so accustomed to the gloomy, dark, evil Potions master — it was like a gush of fresh air to see this other Severus, who seemed uncomfortably real. It was like seeing someone without a mask for the very first time. He was dangerously intoxicated by Severus Snape; he knew he was walking an unstable path but he had no idea how to stop — Merlin, he didn't even know if he _wanted_ to stop. Lupin tightened his grip on Severus’s thighs and backed away from the kiss. 

“For Merlin's sake, take these off before I do it myself,” he begged.

Severus straightened his body and gave him another mischievous smile.

“As you wish,” he replied, taking his hair off his face and moving his hands down to unbutton his trousers. One button. Two buttons. Three buttons. He reached for the fourth, Lupin almost screaming in anticipation — and then Severus gasped, pain and fear flashed on his eyes, and in a second he was falling to the floor, holding his left arm.

“Severus —” Lupin jumped off the bed and reached for Severus, who was already getting back on his feet and dismissing Lupin with a wave; his face was already changing, the mask building up to hide the man who was there just now.

“You have to go,” he mumbled, grabbing a shirt from a chair and putting it on, buttoning it up with slightly trembling hands. They stayed in silence as Severus got dressed, Lupin staring at him in worry. Snape reached for his robes and eyed Lupin swiftly.

“You must leave, Lupin. Go get dressed.”

“Let me wait for you—”

"No! Absolutely not,” he said in a hushed voice, and started buttoning up his robes over his shirt. “I will contact Dumbledore and he’ll lift up the protections around the castle; you'll have a few minutes to disapparate out of here. Don't miss the chance to get out without having to sneak out," he paused as he buttoned up the last button of his robes and settled it on his body. “Get away from the fireplace.”

Lupin stepped away and Severus kneeled in front of it, took a small pot from the mantelpiece and threw a handful of Floo powder in the fire, announcing, “Headmaster's Office.”

In a few seconds Dumbledore answered. “Good evening, Severus. What happened?”

“I've been summoned. I need you to lift the protections.”

“Of course,” the Headmaster paused for a second and studied Severus’s face. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, Headmaster,” he hesitated. “I just wasn't expecting to be called this evening. But I'll be fine.”

“Very well,” Dumbledore said, and closed his eyes, murmuring indistinguishable words. “It's done, Severus. They'll be lifted for a few minutes. Take care, will you?” he said in a worried voice.

Severus gave him a curt nod and got back to his feet, frowning when he looked at Lupin and saw him still half-naked.

“Lupin, for Merlin’s sake, go get dressed and get out of here before the protections are back at work. You have two minutes.”

Lupin nodded. “I will. Severus —” he hesitated. Severus looked at him, his eyes dark and his face now completely covered by his usual impenetrable mask, hand already holding his wand in position to disapparate. Lupin swallowed hard. “Good luck.”

Snape didn't react, just waved his wand and left. Lupin looked around and grabbed his trousers. He put them on and reached for his sweater; then he let out a sigh and threw himself on the armchair on the corner of the room, murmuring, “I'm sorry, Severus.”

* * *

With a crack, Snape apparated in the middle of his room, and Lupin jumped off the armchair with a muffled “Merlin's beard!”. Severus was pointing his wand at him and Lupin raised his hands in surrender.

“It's me.”

It took Snape a while to lower his wand, but he kept frowning at Lupin for long seconds. Finally he let his guard down and lifted his hands to his face, taking a deep breath. 

“What are you doing here? I told you to leave, you should have —”

“I know, I know,” Lupin interrupted, walking slowly towards him. “I'm sorry. I was worried about you.” He hesitated, then eyed Severus suspiciously and asked, “Are you hurt?”

Severus looked at him, and his face was now closer to the one Lupin had seen behind the mask. “No, I — Dumbledore healed me already. You shouldn't be here, how are you going to leave now?”

“The same way I was going to leave before disapparating became a possibility,” he smiled. “I'll manage, don't worry about me.”

Severus sat on the bed and rested his head on his hands. Lupin sat by his side in silence. He could see the other man's body shaking slightly, and heard his ragged breathing. After a few minutes he let his hands down. Lupin felt like he could say something, so he asked, “Do you need anything? Maybe a drink?”

Severus nodded, eyes still closed. Lupin got up and served him wine, which he downed immediately and asked for more. When Lupin served his second glass he already had a cigarette between his lips.

“Three weeks ago you said you were not a regular smoker anymore,” he laughed.

“Yeah, well — things can change a lot in three weeks,” he replied, taking a long puff. Lupin served himself a glass of wine and sat back by Severus's side. They sipped their drinks without saying a word. It was not an uncomfortable silence — it was calm and cozy, as if they were just resting after a long, exhausting day.

“You should leave, Lupin,” Severus said in a tired voice.

“I would really like to stay,” he said simply.

“I won't be able to do anything tonight, I'm a mess.”

“I'm not staying for sex, Severus, although I have to highlight it has been _amazing,_ ” he said, laughing softly. “I just really don't want to leave you alone,” he paused. “If that's okay for you, of course. Just for a bit longer.”

Severus looked at him and Lupin saw exhaustion in every line of his face. He offered a thin smile and Severus nodded.

“Let me help you out of these robes.”

He eased Snape out of his clothes and helped him lay in bed, and in two heartbeats he was fast asleep. Lupin laid down by his side and adjusted his body to touch Severus’s, covered him with a blanket and proceeded to spend the next hours thinking about what the actual fuck he was doing with his life.

* * *

They were twisted in the bed sheets, Lupin’s arm under Snape’s head, their bodies tangled. Remus had just dozed off when Severus woke up with a start, pulling Lupin out of his sleep.

“Lupin,” Severus frowned. “How can you be so stubborn?”

Lupin simply smiled, gently stroking his back and leaning to kiss his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

Severus turned on the bed and winced. “Sore.”

Lupin looked down and saw a long, thin red line starting on Snape’s stomach and continuing to his back. For a split second Lupin fantasized about writing his name along it. Severus followed his eyes and before Lupin could even open his mouth, he said, “Don’t ask.”

Lupin nodded and Severus lit a cigarette.

“I don't want to get you in trouble, but I couldn't just leave you. I’m sorry.”

“It's fine,” Severus replied, quietly. He hesitated. “It was good to have you here when I came back.”

He took a long puff, and Lupin smiled at himself, a warm feeling in his chest. He had spent the last hours thinking about this whole mess and he was absolutely sure this was going to become a great disaster sooner or later. But maybe — _maybe_ if he was careful and they both really wanted it to work — then maybe wanting could be enough. That month had been sipped away like a bottle of wine, slowly and yet so intensely; they warmed up at each sip, and now they had this feverish euphoria between them, an agonizingly perfect fit, and he had no idea how to act in this inebriated state but he was enjoying each second of it. Lupin realized could really get used to it. He actually didn’t think he needed anything more than that. He looked at Severus, who was finishing his cigarette looking at the ceiling, exhaling the smoke lazily.

“I should get going for real now, shouldn’t I?”

Severus snorted. “Yes, you should.”

Lupin leaned towards him and gently kissed his collarbone. He felt Severus brush his fingers on his hair and smiled as he got up from bed and put on his clothes.

“Do you want to meet tonight?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“I don't know how things will play out after last night. I might not be available.”

“Just let me know,” he said, heading towards the door, ready to cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself. "I was supposed to help Sirius with this New Years thing tonight, but I'll make some excuses.”

“Don’t cancel your plans because of me.”

“No, it’s fine, it was nothing much. I can do it tomorrow. I’d rather be with you.”

“I'll owl you, then” Severus said, looking directly at him and at the same time seemingly thinking about something else, a dark shadow hovering above his eyes.

Lupin smiled at him, charmed himself and stepped out of the room, his heart light as he walked away with a soft smile on his lips.

When the door closed, Severus covered his eyes with his arm, then took the half empty bottle of wine that was by the bed and threw it on the floor, grunting. He got up, lit another cigarette and walked to the mirror on the bathroom wall.

“This has to end,” he said to his image in the mirror, eyes full of tears and pain. “You have to end this.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked it, please consider giving kudos and/or a comment telling me what you thought of it. <3


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